Ponderings of the Heart

Cancer…this is a word that strikes fear in our heart with just an utterance, or even just seeing the word. My dad recently found out that he has very early case of prostate cancer, and so I have felt this fear with this word, really for the first time ever. Honestly, I don’t feel like it has sunk in yet. I am so grateful for the great news that this was caught early enough that it shouldn’t be a big concern, but it also almost masks the fact that he does have cancer, at least in my mind. This is probably a good thing given my tendency to let my human nature have reign and let worry take control. I told Trent, “I don’t want to say ‘my dad has cancer.’” But given the facts that is the reality. I think it also makes it surreal that we are so far away from the situation, so it almost doesn’t seem real. So in going through processing this reality, I of course went through all the human nature questions like “why him,” “what if’s,” and “is this somehow my fault.” But I have been amazed (I gu...

    Warning...the next few posts may be very honest and seemingly rambling...  I have read many blogs lately of friends just sharing what is going on in their life, even the bad stuff.  I have benefited from it greatly in that I see that we all really do have troubles in our lives and its not something to be ashamed of.  I can learn from others and then when I share others can learn from my troubles!  So...don't say I didn't warn you!  :)  Hope you benefit as I did from my honest and open friends.     Isn't it amazing how we so often have to go through a difficult and heartbreaking time to come face to face with the fact that we really are totally dependent on God?  We knew it deep down all along but just weren't living like it....until it all seems to crash down around us.  Not even literally...we just come to the breaking point when we have to stop and breathe and are reminded of who God is and who we are....