Ponderings of the Heart

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Listening to God's still small voice above all the noise

“Protect me, God, for I take refuge in you. I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have nothing good besides you.” As for the holy people who are in the land, they are the noble ones. All my delight is in them. The sorrows of those who take another god for themselves will multiply; I will not pour out their drink offerings of blood, and I will not speak their names with my lips. Lord, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I will bless the Lord who counsels me — even at night when my thoughts trouble me. I always let the Lord guide me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices; my body also rests securely . For you will not abandon me to Sheol; you will not allow your faithful one to see decay. You reveal the path of life to me; in your presence is abundant joy; at your...

Learning to Be Content

I am a perfectionist…I always have been. Some days I feel I always will be, no matter have often I fail! It’s a hard thing to shake. When I accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord some 15 years ago, I remember the relief it was to give up trying to be perfect for everyone. I don’t need to perfect, I learned and accepted. I just needed to trust in my Jesus who saved me of my sin and do my best at what He calls me to. But somehow I keep getting back into the rut of perfectionism. Each stage of my life has seen this rut, multiple times! In all honesty, now that I am a mom and a homeowner I feel that it has become the worst it has ever been. Our technology of today certainly doesn’t help things. First there is Facebook and Instagram. When used properly these are great resources to keep up with family and friends around the world (especially for an introvert, like me!). But when you constantly compare yourself to everyone you see, ...

Confession time...

I have a confession to make and I say this publicly (well to anyone who chooses to read my blog at least) because I believe it is relatable to most and hopefully will be an encouragement. I have been struggling with frustration lately and have way too often let it get the best of me. I reached my pinnacle when I arrived home recently and was trying to make my way inside while carrying a bunch of stuff in my arms and trying to be sure my toddler didn't wander off or eat a rock. I repeatedly told him "no, don't pick up the rock...leave the rocks alone...come help me open the door." Nothing would distract him from his task to pick out the perfect rock and pick it up. This frustrated me so much! And then to top it all my key got stuck in my front door and I couldn't get it out fast enough (in my mind) so I could go and have a talk with the previously mentioned toddler who wasn't obeying. Ahhhh!! So what did I do?? Did I calmly take a deep breath and slow down so ...

Not Your Typical Mother's Day Post

Reflections on this Mother's Day. This is not your typical Mother's Day post. I hope I can accurately dictate all that is on my mind today as I have been reflecting and reading other posts and blogs. I hope this can encourage at least just one person today. 1) God can change hearts. There was a point I my life that I was worried I would never take the plunge and commit to start trying to become a mom. I wanted to be a mom but never felt like I was "ready". That scared me....so I prayed and asked God to change my heart when it was time, His time. Boy did He answer! I don't remember how long it took but He placed a desire in me to become a mom and I was so excited! I have always been a very independent person and that step to have someone so dependent on me was so terrifying but God did a miracle and changed my heart and told me it was time to take that next step of faith. 2) God is loving and faithful. He works in mysterious ways. Within 4 or 5 mont...

Griffin Gann!

I have been seeing/reading a lot of birth stories recently. I have never thought about writing one myself…I guess I don’t really have it in my mind that I really did have a baby since I had a C section. But I really did give birth! I don’t think I should think anything less of myself because we chose to go this route (with the advice of my dr of course). So here it goes…a birth story from a different perspective. J Pregnancy was great! I felt sick in the beginning but never actually got sick. The worst part was finding out before Christmas, but waiting until February to tell anyone we were expecting. Christmas was interesting with the family to say the least. It’s hard to keep such a great thing a secret, but we did! Here was our annoucement of who would be Griffin Gann! :) All went well and each appointment the dr said everything was going great. Later in the pregnancy I began to ask if I needed to...

"Pattern Your Lives After Mine..."

As I have been reading over the past 2 days I have noticed a theme: God’s people turning away from Him. Isaiah 65:1-2 “I was ready to respond, but no one asked for help. I was ready to be found, but no one was looking for me. I said, ‘Here I am, here I am!’ to a nation that did not call on my name. All day long I opened my arms to a rebellious people. But they follow their own evil paths and their own crooked schemes.” Isaiah 66:4b “ For when I called, they did not answer. When I spoke, they did not listen. They deliberately sinned before my very eyes and chose to do what they know I despise.” I am reminded and feel the urgency of the need for His people to turn back to Him. How can we reach a world that is dying without Him when they can’t see Him in us? Are we stumbling blocks or stepping stones? It’s so easy to get in a rut and start living for me, me, me. The enemy is constantly luring us to be selfish and slowly creep away from God’s presen...