Ponderings of the Heart

I am a perfectionist…I always have been. Some days I feel I always will be, no matter have often I fail!  It’s a hard thing to shake.  When I accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord some 15 years ago, I remember the relief it was to give up trying to be perfect for everyone.  I don’t need to perfect, I learned and accepted.  I just needed to trust in my Jesus who saved me of my sin and do my best at what He calls me to.  But somehow I keep getting back into the rut of perfectionism.  Each stage of my life has seen this rut, multiple times!  In all honesty, now that I am a mom and a homeowner I feel that it has become the worst it has ever been.  Our technology of today certainly doesn’t help things.  First there is Facebook and Instagram.  When used properly these are great resources to keep up with family and friends around the world (especially for an introvert, like me!).  But when you constantly compare yourself to everyone you see, ...

I have a confession to make and I say this publicly (well to anyone who chooses to read my blog at least) because I believe it is relatable to most and hopefully will be an encouragement.  I have been struggling with frustration lately and have way too often let it get the best of me. I reached my pinnacle when I arrived home recently and was trying to make my way inside while carrying a bunch of stuff in my arms and trying to be sure my toddler didn't wander off or eat a rock. I repeatedly told him "no, don't pick up the rock...leave the rocks alone...come help me open the door." Nothing would distract him from his task to pick out the perfect rock and pick it up. This frustrated me so much! And then to top it all my key got stuck in my front door and I couldn't get it out fast enough (in my mind) so I could go and have a talk with the previously mentioned toddler who wasn't obeying. Ahhhh!! So what did I do?? Did I calmly take a deep breath and slow down so ...

Reflections on this Mother's Day.  This is not your typical Mother's Day post.  I hope I can accurately dictate all that is on my mind today as I have been reflecting and reading other posts and blogs. I hope this can encourage at least just one person today.  1) God can change hearts. There was a point I my life that I was worried I would never take the plunge and commit to start trying to become a mom. I wanted to be a mom but never felt like I was "ready". That scared me....so I prayed and asked God to change my heart when it was time, His time. Boy did He answer! I don't remember how long it took but He placed a desire in me to become a mom and I was so excited! I have always been a very independent person and that step to have someone so dependent on me was so terrifying but God did a miracle and changed my heart and told me it was time to take that next step of faith.  2) God is loving and faithful. He works in mysterious ways. Within 4 or 5 mont...